"when you were born you cried and the whole world rejoiced. live your life so that when you die the world cries and you rejoice."

cherokee saying

the hardest part

I must confess I am truly terrible at savasana. Last night I arrived at a class early, so I lay down in corpse pose, wanting to just clear my mind and get focused on my practice. In the 10 minutes that I lay there I planned- from start to finish- a barbecue for my yoga teacher training classmates. It would be in June, maybe the weekend after we finish, everyone would be invited, including significant others. We'd start early, so as not to have too late of a party given the fact I live next door to my elderly landlords and I wouldn't want to keep them up all night. Should I tell everyone tomorrow night? The menu would be mostly vegetarian. Grilled veggie kabobs, yes and perhaps just snacks and appetizers. Oh, and I'll invite our instructors.

Then class began and I was able to truly clear my mind, simply focusing on breath, movement and physical sensations as I was led through a truly tough class focusing on expanding through the sides of our bodies. The practice itself demanded so much of my focus, I can honestly say the only thoughts in my head were about physical placement of limbs and the thought "wooooo this burns!" Yeow. At the end of it all I was exhausted.

When all was said and done I took a spinal twist and lay, completely spent, in my corpse pose. My hands were open, palms up, feet splayed out to the side, lower jaw relaxed. I tried my usual savasana tricks to quiet my chatty mind. Like focusing on my third eye, and then just counting my breath. And then you know what I did, I planned a full trip out to L.A. to visit my sister before her baby comes. Just to squeeze in one last visit before her (and my) life changes forever by the addition of a new little bundle. I mean, seriously, I was calculating flight costs in my head. I truly suck at savasana. It's the hardest part of the practice for me.

slackasana

Oh hi. Remember me. I met you in October? And then I never called again. Sorry about that. As a matter of fact working a full time job and doing teacher training and additional other training and still finding time to cook, read, shower, take pictures of jellyfish and hang out with my loved ones is virtually impossible.



I have avoided coming here because I haven't held up my end of the bargain. I have always been truly terrible at keeping journals. I always INTEND to but when it comes down to it, I have about seven lovely hardcover journals in my bookcase which have about four entries and then my thoughts vanish into the ether. It's just the way I'm built. I have grown to accept it.

The thing is with this Yogi Dickens forum, is I do have regrets about my complete and total slacker performance here. I have been learning oh so much. I have taught my first class. I have almost gotten into a headstand.

As I glanced at this today I had a new thought, or rather, just a slight shift in focus. If I make an effort to simply share something a couple days a week on here, I am doing my job. After all, I'm the boss and if I'm willing to take myself back after a self-imposed five month vacation, well then I don't see why anyone else should have a problem with it, right? Right. Stay tuned for simple musings, tid bits of inspiration, total nonsense blabberings and all things in between.